A Moral Dilemma in Techno-Culture

You never know!

You never know!


As I’ve blogged before, I have had my share of online relationships.  The last one lasted over 2 years, but due to mitigating and extenuating circumstances, it never came to fruition. In hindsight, those circumstances were definitely Godsends!

But today a mutual friend informed me that my last love was involved with someone else online.  Okay, I’ll admit, I winced a bit when I found out, but just a wince.  We’ve been over for several months now.  The problem is, though the guy isn’t right for me maybe not for anyone I know I still shared intimate thoughts, goals and at one time shared futures.  He’s quite intelligent though has issues and without sharing too much about him, he’s in a bad place in his life.

I have never understood the “We’re broken up, so now we hate each other” mindset that is so prevalent these days.  If she/he was good enough to share secrets with, share bodily fluids with or share dreams with, then how can you hate them?  Now I do understand if he/she was abusive.  But other than that, isn’t it immature to speak poorly of someone you shared so much with?

Which leads me to the dilemma. My friend told me that the woman he is seeing has quite the reputation as a “con person”.  She and could possibly be a “he” uses several identities online and has been known to bilk money and other things from her/his online relationships.  Think Catfish!   My initial reaction was to tell my ex.   I mean, you should treat people the way you want to be treated right?   Then I thought twice.

This “someone I used to know” guy is a bit on the paranoid side.  He’s worried he’ll be stalked.  He’s worried his next relationship won’t understand his aversion to work.  He’s worried that the people he is living with will ask too many questions about his personal life.  Since the last time I talked to him over 4 months ago, I’ve sent him a tweet and 3 text messages.  He answered none of them.

I told my friend this and he said “let him fend for himself”.  I suppose that’s what I should do.  It would be easier if he read this blog, then he would know.  But he never read it when we were together Another reason we aren’t together anymore.  I’m not going to try to contact him anymore.  It’s evident he has nothing more to say to me.  And well, he doesn’t have my worldview about past relationships I suppose.  So what to do?  Let him be bilked?  Let him be treated badly?  What if something worse happens?  Then I think, “He’s a grown man.”  “He can fend for himself”  “I’m no longer his life-saver”…..But I can’t help but want to share my knowledge with him.  Then again, maybe my friend is wrong about this he/she person  though I don’t think so because he knew too much about her.  What to do?


What would you do?


I’ll think about it later.  The Rangers are on!


The Article I’m Reading Today: Online Communication

In graduate school, online communication was my baby. It crept its way into many of my papers and asked questions of Shakespeare’s Sonnets and Chaucer’s love stories. Of course then, it was a new phenomenon. I would love to explore this article today here, but unfortunately, I’m still down with the flu.

This article published by Science Daily begs many questions (at least from my Tamiflu wracked psyche) and so makes me wish I was a tenured professor at a Texas University.  Here’s a bit from the beginning:

The research is part of a burgeoning field of study into the effects of social media on everyday relationships and behavior. Personality and social psychologists are finding surprising ways in which people’s online environments and relationships reflect and influence their real-world ones, as presented January 19 at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) annual meeting in New Orleans.

“Researchers have known for a while that individuals give unique cues about who they are with the things they own, clothes they wear, things they say and do. However, though these cues are informative to knowing who someone truly is, they were not always so easily accessible to our entire social network,” says Lindsay Graham of the University of Texas, Austin, one of the presenters. “Now with much of our lives being lived online, and the boundaries having been blurred between who sees these cues and who doesn’t, it is all the more important to pay attention to the kinds of impressions we are giving off to those around us.”

Read it and get back to me will you? My eyes hurt too much to read and I’m not really interested in watching the Inauguration. (kinda the same way I don’t watch the Golden Globes or the Grammys)