Which Avenger Have You Dated?


The Avengers

The Avengers

 

Okay, so I’m not up-to-date on popular movies.  Though both my teens have seen “THE AVENGERS” multiple times, I have not and since it was a long weekend, they begged me to watch it with them.  It wasn’t bad…not bad at all!  Robert Downey, Jr. is not one of my favorite actors, though I do applaud his strength in overcoming his addictions, and for a diminutive man, he’s attractive.  I avoided this movie because I regarded it as a good popcorn selling type of movie (i.e, not much story, but lots of action).  Those kinds of movies worked for my husband and father, but me?  not so much.  I was surprised.   When it was over, we discussed which super hero was our favorite and why and then took it a step further and applied it to relationships.  Remember, there’s no scientific basis here, just experience and viewpoints.

IRON MAN/TONY STARK

PROS:  Tony stark is brilliant.  He’s a leader.  He’s a smooth jokester.  He thinks out of the box and makes good investments.  He’s wealthy.  And he’s not bad looking.  He also likes to party.

CONS: Tony Stark is the quintessential narcissist. Everything revolves around him and he is better than anyone he knows.  He has father issues.  He is a playboy.  He has control issues.  Think Alex Rodriguez in baseball.  Think young Warren Beatty.  He’s sadistically sarcastic.  Pepper Potts is a great match for him as she understands these things, but honestly, having a relationship with Iron Man would not only be scary because of his super powers, but mainly because of his ego.  Poor Pepper will never find romance with a man like this, though she will find great pleasure in taking him down a notch or two.

THOR/THOR ODINSON

PROS: He’s a god.  He can do anything.  He’s handsome.  He’s self-assured.  He’s strong.  He is Master of his Destiny.  He’s probably really good at lovemaking, I mean he’s a god, he knows!

CONS:  He’s a god.  He can do anything.  He’s condescending.  You’re nothing but a weak species:  HUMAN.   Why would he need you?  Why would he need anyone?  He is Master of his Destiny.  The only control you will have in this relationship is the control he grants you—then reminds you that he granted it to you.  The kind of woman he would need would be more a groupie than a complete person…or a subservient.

CAPTAIN AMERICA/STEVEN “STEVE”  GRANT ROGERS

PROS: He is a natural born leader who always tries to do the right thing.  He is dependable. He is empathetic, principled and logical.  He wants to learn new things.  He’ll take one for the team if he has to and if he believes in the quest. He’s a team player.  He is humble.   He doesn’t care what others think, he does what has to be done.  A baseball parallel would be the Texas Rangers Adrian Beltre.   A literary character parallel would be Atticus Finch.  In a relationship, this is the man all your friends wished they had.  He does seem to think progressively though, so he could be convinced if you gave him a logical argument.

CONS: His baggage is in what he’s seen and lamenting what could be which makes him sentimental but melancholy.  He’s a bit of a goody two shoes, which means he could be a bit uptight.  Not a lot of room for hedonism here.  He might not be too “experimental” in bed.

 

THE HULK/Dr. ROBERT BRUCE BANNER

PROS:  He’s beastly strong.  He doesn’t care what others think.  He’s his own man.  He’s brilliant.  He’s HUGE! If you’re into taboo sex, this guy would be the one!  He would accept any woman who gave him an iota of attention.  NO one would mess with him when he’s angry, they can see in his eyes when the transformation begins.

CONS:  He’s green.  He’s always angry. He’s bi-polar.  He’s secretive. He blames the world for his problems.  He likes to be alone, but doesn’t really.  He’s conflicted.  He’s ANGRY!  He could hurt you, then blame it on the transition.  He has deep-seeded issues.   He’s inconsistent.  He’s bullheaded.  He’s more a tool than a person. He likes you one minute, then turns on you the next.  His loyalty is scattershot.   Too bad Tom doesn’t read this anymore, I think he could relate. 

 

HAWKEYE/CLINTON “CLINT” FRANCIS BARTON

PROS:  This guy is cutting edge!  He’s up on all the new inventions, weapons and technology. He would be the guy with the biggest TV in his man cave.  He is loyal and has many friends.  He’s fun to party with.   He has a sharp wit.  He’s also precise.  He won’t quit until the mission is complete which would make him an awesome lover. He’s a one-woman man and would be faithful.  He has lots to offer to the woman with the most patience.  I know this one well!

CONS:  He’s insecure, always feeling he needs to prove himself.  He fights easily, and is usually the one to begin it.  He’s more a follower than a leader.  He second-guesses himself in relationships, but is confident in work.  He seems like he’s on the verge of breaking at any time.

 

BLACK WIDOW/

PROS:  She is independent and doesn’t need a man for anything she can’t do herself.  She’s smart.  She’s beautiful.  She’s athletic.  A man would have to be patient and put his needs on the back burner to make a go of this relationship.  He would also have to be quite trusting.

CONS:  She isn’t very nurturing and doesn’t have time for romance.  Wait, to many men, this would be a PRO instead of a CON  She’s secretive, manipulative and not always loyal.  She does what is best for her, unless she cares about you, then you’re thrown a bone. She’s a bit on the hard side and would have been a great colonist.

 

So now you have the background, take the poll below.  It’s all in fun!

 

 

 

Sometimes, Most of the Time, Every Time


Break-Up

My daughter’s boyfriend called her two days before school was out and broke up with her.  I was so excited, because I really don’t like him! She is handling it semi-well.  For the last two days of school when she was around him, she would smile, talk to him nicely and act carefree.  Her friends were in awe of her strength, I mean, they had been dating since before Thanksgiving! And we all know that in teenaged minds, that’s an eternity! But at home she was morose and tearful.  She second-guessed herself.  She worried that she had done something wrong.  She just KNEW she would never have another boyfriend like him.   I told her to remember all the things she didn’t like about him and write them down because sometimes when we read things after experiencing them, it eases the pain and gives us insight into ourselves.  I even helped her when she forgot many of the things he did that upset her easy for me, each time he upset her  during their relationship, I wanted to butt-kick him to the next county!   So here’s what she wrote:

  1. He’s too emotionally detached.
  2. He doesn’t celebrate holidays, not even Christmas.
  3. He’s a big flirt.
  4. He’s too short.
  5. He has a bad relationship with his parents.
  6. He’s secretive.
  7. We never hang out except at school.
  8. He’s only been to my house twice.
  9. He’s a former drug user.
  10. He’s been to bed with former girlfriends……
  11. He didn’t take me to the dance.
  12. He’s always trying to get me to go to bed with him.
  13. He’s more interested in kissing and touching me than in talking and spending time together.
  14. He goes to concerts with his guy friends, but never asks me.
  15. He can’t drive, no driver’s license and doesn’t want one.
  16. He’s stingy.

Yeah, I didn’t even know some of these things….check the former italicized sentence.  I would now butt AND face kick him to New York!

So I explained to my lovely daughter that sometimes, we have preconceived notions of what is right for us and what isn’t.  Sometimes, we believe we can change a guy or that he will change for us.  Sometimes, we just overlook the bad because he gives us what we need at the time.  Sometimes, we just like being told we’re beautiful.

Most of the time we make excuses for him.  Most of the time we can be patient with behavior we don’t condone.  Most of the time we forget that we don’t have as many friends as we once had because we have him, though now we have his friends.

Every time he upsets us, a bit of the love dies because he does it again.  Every time.

But sometimes isn’t good.  Most of the time is better.  Every time is important in several situations…..every time is important because we can truly analyze character, respect and feeling.  If the every times are negative, then he needs to go and you are wasting your goodness on someone who doesn’t want it.  The key is to realize that you will have relationships with many people, and by using the sometimes, most of the time and every time equation, you can get a better grip on your mind when your emotion is carrying you away.