Levity is sexy. Especially when you’ve had a horrid few weeks and have finally found something new to focus on (besides worthless men, writer’s block and the future). In that vein, here’s a little glimpse into my mind. My son’s birthday is Sunday. He was born on 9/9/1999 at 9:29 in the morning. Nine is obviously a very special number for us. So I thought I would do a little numerology research to dazzle and amaze him. What it segue wayed into was all the Mayan Prophecy stuff that is/was/could be happening in December of 2012. That in turn,segue wayed into the idea for the theme of my 16-year-old daughter’s Halloween Party….The Zombie Apocalypse. And since so much of it is excruciatingly funny (to me). I thought I would share some with you.
- Albert Einstein said if the honey bees were suddenly gone mankind would have
about 4 years left to live. Well, the honey bees are going extinct now and at
the present rate in another year or so there will be no more honey bees left on
earth. One year from now plus another 4 years gives us the year 2012.
Okay, so the above was written in 2007, are the honey bees gone? NBC? Tom Cruise? The National Enquirer? The New York Post? Someone have an answer?
- In this final episode of the X-Files, it is revealed that on December 22 2012,
aliens will invade and take over the world, one day after December 21 2012. It
was like Chris Carter was saying to us that the aliens don’t need to invade and
conquer us, all they need to do is move in to a vacant earth
Who knew the X-Files (Chris Davis) was the Modern Day Nostradamus!
- The Vatican holds very closely to the Prophecy of St. Malachy. This Medieval
Monk had detailed visions of 112 Popes until Doomsday, also known as The
Biblical Apocalypse. The current Pope, Benedict XVI is the 111th named Pope,
only one Pope remains.
I’m not Catholic, so this is all very Greek Unorthodox to me!
- A provocative new branded short film starring Point 2012 Black Ale is captivating online viewers across the country.Visually iconic and emotionally charged, “The End or The Beginning” depicts two young lovers struggling toward each other amid angry demonstrators, menacing police and mysterious masked onlookers. Overlooking the chaotic street scene as asteroids crash into buildings is a fire-breathing Mayan chieftain, apt symbolism for Point 2012 Black Ale, a robust dark ale inspired by the ancient Mayan “Long Count” calendar that ends ominously on December 21, 2012, prompting various doomsday predictions. Navigating the chaos, the young couple meets in a romantic embrace featuring Point 2012 Black Ale.
No doubt about it, I want to spend the waining moments of life as I know it drinking cheap black beer! So romantic!
- Several experts have predicted a special astrological/astronomical alignment
between the Galactic center in the constellation of Sagittarius, the Winter
Solstice point, and the open cluster of the Pleiades. Factually, the coincidence
of the Winter Solstice point (due to the precession of the Equinoxes) and the
galactic center is basically true.
I knew it!! My husband was a Sagittarius as was my last love…see? It’s the DEVIL’s HOLE! hahahaha! (note to self, do the cheesy thing the next time you meet a man and ask his sign)
- For most Americans, Bolivia is a third world South American country last robbed by Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. However this impoverished nation is making headlines due to its Minister of External Affairs recent announcement that the Coca-Cola Company, one of the world’s largest corporations, is to be booted out of there by year’s end.David Choquehuanca, the minister in question, explained that Coca-Cola will be expelled from Bolivia on the same day that the Mayan calendar enters a new cycle–December 21. According to Choquehuanca, the date marks the end of capitalism and the start of a culture of life in community-based societies. In order to celebrate that, Bolivia’s government is already planning a series of events that will take place at the Southern Hemisphere’s Summer Solstice on La Isla del Sol, one of the largest islands in Lake Titicaca.
“The twenty-first of December 2012 is the end of selfishness, of division. The twenty-first of December has to be the end of Coca-Cola and the beginning of mocochinche (a local peach-flavored soft drink),” Choquehuanca told reporters at a political rally for Bolivia’s president, Evo Morales. “The planets will line up after 26,000 years. It is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism,” he added.
It’s already been rumored that Venezuela’s president, Hugo Chavez, will follow suit, encouraging his country to ditch the American beverage for soft drinks produced locally
Hasta la Vista Coca-Cola. Peach is the new capitalism!
More Halloween inspired sapiosexuality to come. Know why? Because I LOVE HALLOWEEN!